Posted by cricket on October 20, 2005, at 9:37:41
In reply to Re: i have been thinking..., posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2005, at 20:18:14
>
> that hit me real hard. thats pretty much what i believe. that i'll die if i don't get help. that i'll fall apart. that i won't be able to function. that i dont' have a future. that there isn't any hope.
>
Yeah for me too. My therapist has me convinced not that I'll die but that I'll be a robot, a cold, heartless b*tch.> and what has the service done for me?
>
> one helpful therapist
> and so much so very much harm that i just can't even start to get that across
> and they gave me horrible stereotypes via which i learned to view myself
> borderline
> attention seeking
> manipulative
> hysterical
> liar
> and they provided me with supplimentary symptoms and encouraged me to...
> get worse
> because i had to get worse to get treatment
> and i believed i'd die without it.
>
Oh Alex. I know what you mean. I wish I could tell you it could be better somewhere else. But I don't know.> and so i'm powerless and i hate them so much
> and i've given them the power
> and they encouraged me to
> and it has f*cked me up so immensely
> and it has almost resulted in my death at times
> i never started trying to kill myself
> till i was hospitalised involountarily
> i never started si
> till i was asked about it so much i thought it might be something that was worth a shot - i mean it must help if people do it - right?
>
((((Alex))))). But I think you're starting to take back the power, right?
> but there isn't anything wrong with me.
> i'm okay.
> i struggle at times.
> but that is part of life.
> i might struggle more than the majority of people
> but that doesn't mean i have a disease
> that i'm defective
>
That's right. You're smart and sensitive and sometimes that makes it more difficult to function in the world but never defective.
> i don't feel i have access to the 'revelation' anymore. times really are very tough sometimes. but the point is that the service harms me more than it helps.
>
Well ask us to repeat it for you. You are okay. You are not any of those things they've said.
>
> i have people who mean a great deal to me
> a strangers smile means a great deal to me
> other people are mostly kind if you give them a chance
> things are hard at times
> but i'm going to make it
> i don't need them
>
That's right. I'm not saying that there aren't some really good therapists out there and some that have really helped people. But there's also a lot of nonsense and there is harm. There is definitely harm being done to people.
> and i am going to work on this:
>
> i don't want them
>
> i dont' want them harming me anymore.
>
> time to move on.
>
> i'll keep seeing my t from uni.
> we can have our general chats and i'll take comfort from the fact that she cares
>
> but its probably a good thing that i'm not feeling too attached to her
>
> new country
> new start
>
> i dont' wan tto see myself as mentally ill as diseased as NEEDING the mental health service anymore.
>
> enough.
>
> and i feel more at peace.Yes, try to hang onto that and the revelation too. Have your chats, get whatever you can out of them, don't take anyting she says too seriously, stay in touch with us if it helps, and begin to live. You are an incredible asset to this world. Enough time has been given to the b*stards who try to keep us down, categorize us, judge us. Don't you think? Enough already.
Can you tell I'm talking to myself too? :-)
poster:cricket
thread:563562
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/569250.html