Posted by B2chica on October 10, 2005, at 11:45:08
In reply to A Question and a big ***trigger***, posted by terrics on October 7, 2005, at 12:49:16
hey terrics. hope you're ok.
i think every reason i do it has been listed. i too have hit my head alot, thowing myself into things but mostly i cut.i used to do it as a teen but it was really shallow then.
the last two years i've been doing it again, first many times i didn't even remember doing it. then i would come home from therapy and have a breakdown bawling with so much pain inside i cut (never felt pain) just to release, like a pressure valve. then there were times that i cut to not feel numb, to see the blood and feel real.
lately i've tried to stop mostly because my urges to harm are severe and i don't want to stop with only a little cut. so i try not to do it at all. you have all these emotions and don't know where to go with them.
the last couple of weeks i started getting back on the treadmill and run as fast as i can, pushing myself till i about fall. it's still not good for me but i figure it's better than any more scars. i'm sure i'll do it again, but till then i'm trying my best not to.remember, just keep it clean. clean your 'tool' with paroxide or alcohol, and keep your would well cared for.
sometimes i wonder if i cut not for the cut but the taking care of it afterwards???
take care of yourself
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:564066
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051008/msgs/565226.html