Posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2005, at 8:08:50
In reply to Re: t2 is toast, posted by Dinah on October 7, 2005, at 19:07:45
You could move to my state.... I'd be happy to have you close by.
I think that you know that Risperdal is not the same as therapy.
My understanding is that your experience with t2 was "not stellar". She was OK, but there were things that you would want to work out with her. But her waiting room was a problem.
An experience like that doesn't seem to mandate giving up on therapy forever...
My personal opinion (even though you didn't ask...) is that you would benefit from a period of interviewing therapists. I think that you should talk to 4 therapists (you've done the first already) before you make any kind of decision. I think that it would be helpful for you to have the experience of doing the interviewing.
I know that therapists in your area aren't being particularly responsive. But if you can see that as a truth of the area, rather than an indictment of you, I think you can get through that. So you made 5 phone calls and got 1 response - that is 20%. To find 3 additional promising therapists, you will probably have to talk to 10 more on the phone. That's a lot of phone calls - but you just leave the same message on each one's answering machine. Maybe you can record YOUR message on a tape and just play your tape to their answering machines!
In the 10 phone interviews, you find out if they have appointments available, if they are OK with supportive longterm therapy, what their theoretical orientation is, tell them that you don't like to be pushed, that you saw your previous therapist for 10 years, and that you are considering moving out of the area.
I'm hoping that you can (face to face) interview therapists who cover a range - i.e. I'd really like you to see a psychodynamic therapist, someone eclectic, I guess someone who does CBT (though I think that is less likely to be an ideal orientation for you), maybe someone humanistic.
You need to go through this process, Dinah.
You tend to see a small bump in the road ahead and decide that it isn't worth proceeding down that road. You wouldn't let the rest of us get away with that. It is like a door appears in front of you and you crumble into a pile on the floor. But you don't check to see if the door is unlocked - or even if the door is OPEN. You assume that since there is a door there that you are finished. You wouldn't let your son get away with that - if he was reading and didn't know a word, would you let him say "Well, I'm not going to try to read anymore. I'm sure I can find someone to read things to me as I grow up when I need to have something read."?
I know that you see yourself as powerless and helpless. That is part of the identity that you have (just like being depressed was part of the identity that I had). But you HAVE shown, particularly in the last month, that you are NOT powerless and helpless. Can you consider the possibility that you don't HAVE to be powerless and helpless? That there might be a different Dinah in there who could have even just a little power and strength? I know that is a terrifying thought. You don't have to agree that it is true - just consider the possibility that it might, in some small way, be POSSIBLE.
I love you, Dinah.
Falls.
poster:fallsfall
thread:563762
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051008/msgs/564402.html