Posted by alexandra_k on October 7, 2005, at 17:10:37
In reply to Re: therapy is like being in love » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on October 6, 2005, at 7:30:13
> I've had maybe four or five close friends in my entire life.
well... thats a lot more than some people get.
> I have been in love with five dogs (B, P, J, B, H - yes, five) over the literally dozens I have owned in my life.
and once again... thats more than some people get.
i think i do hear what you are saying...
but if you consider the litter...
the 'love at first sight' thing...
about what would have happened if that one was promised to someone else and you had to pick again...
i'm not saying that you could have felt that way about any of them in the litter
but maybe a couple of them
maybe a coupleand of course that is something that nobody can ever know...
> That's just who I am.
I'm not sure that that is who you are...
But it is clear that that is the way you see yourself.
And maybe it is seeing yourself that way that brings you a lot of pain
(especially when you worry that if you lose something you have become attached to whether you will ever be able to feel that for another being)>I suppose I could work on it in therapy, but I like who I am in that regard, and don't wish to change it, even if it causes me pain.
It is just that seeing yourself that way seems to be causing you pain too.
And...
About things like this I don't think there is a fact of the matter.
Because if you tell yourself 'I will never be able to become attached to you' over and over again then you will make it true as a matter of self-fulfilling prophecy.
But if you are open to the possibility...
It is more likely to be able to happen.I know that even the people we feel connections for aren't interchangeable. And that that probably goes for dogs too.
But I guess there are two things going on...
The attachment...
The sense of connection
And the particular person / being who you feel that for.And nobody else can ever replace that person
(they aren't like washing machines)
But you can feel that sense of connection again...
But so much easier if you can be open to it...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:563100
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051001/msgs/564184.html