Posted by Tamar on October 2, 2005, at 21:34:49
In reply to Does it matter?, posted by muffled on October 2, 2005, at 18:18:50
> Yes. I'm ok.
> I always am.
> I don't do the no-no-no thing now. I don't let anything get me. I'm all grown up and I'm tough. I will survive.I guess you’re tougher than I am. I still do the no-no-no thing!
> I THINK Idid it as a kid. I don't know. I think it worked very well. The no's all swirling around your brain block everything. Take you to safe places. Thats what I THINK. I don't know though. I wish I knew why I thought this. Does it matter?
Hmm. First I’d say, Yes it does matter in one way or another.
Sometimes it’s possible to discover why you think this. Sometimes it’s not so easy.
Either way it matters, because you remember it now and it’s significant to you, no matter how tough you are.
If you could find out why you think this, it might help. But it might also involve dealing with some nasty sh*t.
If you don’t really know why you think this, or you have very vague suspicions, you can still work on it. You can learn to deal with the feelings you have when you get the no-no-no fear, even if you don’t know the etiology of the fear… even if you have no idea where it comes from.
Sometimes we just don’t remember things we want to know about. Often we want to remember because we want a reason why things are the way they are; why we feel the way we feel. We want to be able to demonstrate that we’re genuinely troubled and not just weak hypochondriacs. We want to find meaning in suffering. And we feel cheated if we can’t remember anything significant.
However, I also think that if we feel like cr*p there’s a good reason, even if we’re not sure what it is; even if we can’t remember. And that’s why it matters. Because it’s hard if it hurts and we don’t know why. And it’s hard to hang onto the idea that things really do matter. And somewhere there’s an idea of a fear that says no-no-no. Maybe you don’t understand its full significance, but it matters because you felt it.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:561985
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051001/msgs/562155.html