Posted by luvdove on September 18, 2005, at 8:31:20
In reply to therapist disclosure, posted by happyflower on September 17, 2005, at 23:41:19
Hi Happyflower (cool name btw ;),
I'm glad you brought this up because this issue has come up in my therapy lately... every T is different in terms of how they view disclosure, the more 'analytic' their approach the more they will want to present a blank screen and tell u nothing! Depending on their theoretical orientation some are more into sharing small details to help you trust them or to make them seem like more of a 'real' person.I know really random tidbits about my T, her demographics, that she plays a sport, that she doesn't like change or statistics, that she has 15 clients (I don't like that one), that she's a scorprio etc. I've always enjoyed these little things that come out, but a couple of weeks ago out of the blue I asked her why she wanted to be a therapist! It was right at the end and she said there was something she was 'tempted' to disclose with me but didn't want to blur the boundaries or something. [btw I have extensive history of s/abuse and have just started to talk about it with her, after a year of seeing her] So next session I was all looking forward to finding out something really personal about her (like that she'd had some trauma or something) and she said she'd decided NOT to tell me!!! it's pushed all kinds of buttons for me, I've been really angry at her for 'teasing' me and it's made me withdraw... I could go on and on about it but I think she doesn't want to distract me from why I'm there and from MY issues, and said that for her to disclose something really personal like that would 'rob us of something' and change everything. I kind of get that but I still want to know what that 'something' is...
Ultimately, we're there to talk about ourselves and our own stuff and their stuff shouldn't matter, but who can help but be extremely curious about their T's lives??!!! I think that as a T gets to know you more they probably do want you to know them a little bit and will tell you little random things. Always ask a question if it comes up but whether they choose to answer it or not is a WHOLE other thing! Oh yeah, another reason why they might choose to stay zipped is to encourage transference fantasies; any psychodynamically orientated therapist is going to want to explore these, analysing the transference is supposed to be a really big part of the therapy...
Sorry to go on and on but like I said it's relevant to where I'm at in my therapy - perhaps becoming a distraction from my own process though! Does anyone here know about their T's own expereinces? Like with trauma or anything? It's risky territory for them to disclose this kinda stuff... I think I could handle it though!
Luv
poster:luvdove
thread:556248
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/556348.html