Posted by Tamar on August 23, 2005, at 20:08:13
In reply to Did anyone ever tell their spouse, posted by FlyingKangaroo on August 22, 2005, at 19:58:56
> About their transference issues?
> Probably not i guess. My T advised me not to but i did anyway (Dah). What a mistake that was.
> Now hubby is freaking out and wants me to see a different T but i told him it would just happen again and that its suppose to happen, right?
> It wasnt my intention to make him uneasy and maybe i expected him to understand it. Now he will be paying attention to what i wear to therapy and how long i am there blah, blah, blah.
> Why do I always do the opposite of what people advise? Maybe its the bratty, rebelious teenager in me.
> I'm such an idiot :(I told my husband some of it (not the full details of every fantasy!). My husband is fairly astute and had guessed that something was up, and I explained the basics to him. I explained that it was helpful for the problems I was working on, and I explained how it was helpful. It was probably more than he wanted to hear, but I think he was relieved that I didn’t consider it a real threat to our marriage.
In the end, my husband said, rather quietly, “I don’t want you to love him more than you love me.” And I assured him that he had nothing to worry about; that the love I felt for my therapist didn’t translate into real life because I know nothing about the man.
And then I made sure that my husband knew how much I love him.
If you can find a way to demonstrate to your husband that therapy is beneficial to your marriage, he might be able to see the transference as a necessary part of that…
I hope things work out OK for you.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:545330
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/545823.html