Posted by Joslynn on August 19, 2005, at 11:29:44
In reply to Re: I'm afraid my therapist is going to dump me., posted by madeline on August 18, 2005, at 19:48:34
Please keep in mind that I have a pretty strict philosophy about disclosure boundaries before you read this...
I would freak out if my T said something like that too! (Well, to be honest, it would flatter me and upset me at the same time.)
I think your instincts of feeling strange were right on target. That is just not an appropriate thing to say, in my opinion. In any other scenario, if a man were to say to a woman that sex between him and her would be good, it would be considered inappropriate (unless he was trying to pick her up or he was her boyfriend or something) so I do not understand why is it appropriate in this case?
That said, I don't think that technically he can just suddenly terminate you without lots of advance notice and referring you to someone else.
Did he say he would terminate you because of your reaction (which I believe is completely justified) or that he would terminate because he screwed up?
I think it would be fine for him to say something like "sex between a man and a woman can be good" but not to say between HIM and YOU specifically would be good.
It just seems seductive, even though they are just words. This could all be turned around though if he apologized for his poor choice of words, instead of threatening you with abandonment.
It sounds like he messed up, but instead of owning it and apologizing, he is using termination as a threat?
So then how will you ever feel ok about showing your feelings to him if he will threaten to leave you for showing them??
Or am I missing something else?
poster:Joslynn
thread:543613
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/543861.html