Posted by annierose on August 18, 2005, at 21:20:50
In reply to Re: Attachment » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on August 18, 2005, at 20:35:58
Interesting thread. Interesting how various attachments lead to the same end --- therapy --- confusion.
My mother had nothing to do with me. Reading Dinah's post, it reminded me (a little) how my mother interacted with my brother. My T reads my mother as being a part of my brother, that the two are one. (The HUGE difference is that Dinah didn't want to participate, wanted to be different, but not my brother). So as a child, I see my mom gave my brother loads attention, tons of "toys", anything he wanted. That type of attention hasn't gotten him anywhere in his adult life. In fact, he has married a woman exactly like my mother, and their children are faring poorly (in my humble opinion).
My grandmother loved me. I can say that without a doubt. For that, I am lucky. My parents say that they loved/love me. But they have no clue to who I am as a person. They have no desire to get to know me. That would take too much effort.
What does all this mean today? The fact that my children are attached to me (in a healthy way) speaks to the success of therapy. Once I could admit to myself the mistakes my parents made, admit to the love I never had from them, felt small doses of that pain little Annie must of felt (this is where it's hard for me) ... then I am free to make different choices for myself and my family.
Attachment. Lots to ponder.
poster:annierose
thread:543620
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/543693.html