Posted by kerria on August 18, 2005, at 17:19:10
Hi Everybody,
i've been having so hard a time- my parts are so separated - everything is a confusing mess. There isn't any support at home. T asked me to try to communicate with parts- try to have them write about themselves and gave papers about questions tfor each part to fill out.
A few days ago i allowed a child part to begin the questions. a few pages had child's writing and drawings. It's so so so weird and scary. i don't identify with anything it says at all and it's strange to think it's a part of me. This morning the book and sketchbook were missing and i found that my H had brought it to be donated to a charity. it was so upsetting the he did it and that i had to go and look for it.The work part didn't remember we had therapy until it was too late. There wasn't time to go:(
T wants me to continue writing about parts and trying to communicate. It feels like he doesn't care about me at all- It's so upsetting to see different handwriting and to know about parts. i have no one IRL that's positive towards me- i'm so tired of the strain of managing and my sx are so difficult to manage alone. My T doesn't help enough.
does anyone have any ideas about how to communicate safely with parts? It doesn't feel safe. When i try to communicate by journalling i'm upset and hurt and there's no one to tell that can understand.
T keeps asking me to do it- just as if it were an easy thing- he has no concept how hard it is for me at all. i feel so misunderstood and that no one cares how hurt i am. We're separate for a reason. i can't mess with that- it means living in despair. Why doesn't T know that?
Why doesn't he care?Does anyone here with DID do this kind of work alone-? Let their parts write about their function and jobs in the system. i think my T has no idea how hard it is.
Thanks so much for any help or your thoughts.Feeling so lonely and afraid that i can't get better,
kerria:(`
poster:kerria
thread:543557
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/543557.html