Posted by deborah anne lott on July 28, 2005, at 20:44:23
In reply to Re: Lott, Not a Question, Exactly, posted by Dinah on July 28, 2005, at 10:38:46
Thanks, Dinah. It took me a long time (and struggle) to write the book and it is so gratifying to know that it's been helpful.
As for why therapists don't seem to "get it" my only similar experience is in teaching. Whenever I sit in the back of the room as a student, I see so much that is going on in terms of student dynamics, what the teacher isn't hearing, what the teacher should say, and when I'm teaching myself (I teach writing and literature) it's so much harder. It goes by so quickly and sometimes I go almost blank. So I imagine that when it gets intense in the therapy room, it might be similar. And if you're doing it all day with one client after another, and clients aren't saying directly what they're feeling but wishing for their minds to be read (don't we all have that wish whether it's from spouses, lovers, friends, therapists, and of course, going back to MOM AND DAD!!) then I can see why it's so hard. But I'm also afraid that some therapists are attracted to the field for the wrong reasons -- they like being the center of attention and enjoy being watched and listened to more than they enjoy observing and listening. It's not pretty, but I'm afraid that's sometimes the case.
> You'd think I'd have taken the time to formulate a question by now, but I think I need a bit more time.
>
> But I do want to thank you for the book. Whenever a man or woman comes here confused about any feeling whatsoever about a therapist, the first thing we do is recommend they read your book.
>
> And I think we all wish our therapists would read it. Therapists seem awfully unaware sometimes of what is actually going on in our half of the room.
poster:deborah anne lott
thread:534691
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/535047.html