Posted by fairywings on July 25, 2005, at 17:09:12
In reply to Re: Update *might trigger*, posted by AuntieMel on July 25, 2005, at 16:16:03
> My abuse was mostly emotional, too. I think that is the hardest kind in many ways, the hardest to accept that it actually *was* abuse.
>
> I spent weeks and weeks of therapy, just listing one after the other of incidents. No discussion, just listing. No emotion, either, just listing.
>
> Each one alone would be weird and rude, but tolerable. The sheer numbers of them is what made it damaging.
>
> But it's over and I don't have to deal with it anymore. And as predicted he died a lonley old man. But that's not my fault.Are you my sister? My dad was my primary abuser, and he died a lonely old man too. The numbers are what killed my spirit and self esteem too. I was never good enough, never pretty enough, never smart enough, never worth his time, never worth his love, etc.... He was never kind to me, never told me he loved me, never hugged me, he would just stare at me like I was an idiot, a compliment from him was him telling me I was kooky or goofy, etc... I guess I minimized emotional abuse because physical abuse seems more obviously abusive, I don't know. My mom withheld love, and used it as a weapon. She shamed me all the time for things I didn't do, but made me feel like I did because she blamed me for them, stuff like that. My doctor was abusive too, and my parents allowed it.
I just have to work through all of it, and get on with life. Glad the abuse is over, and I hope to never repeat it!
FW/Jazzy
poster:fairywings
thread:532631
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/533353.html