Posted by Aphrodite on June 16, 2005, at 19:40:19
and both are horrible.
Being such a constant mess, I've done better in therapy since I moved to twice a week. I'm even better with three. As my T notes, I "ice over" when I'm away too long, and he has to re-melt me.
So, during this time, insurance paid for one session and I paid for the others. HOWEVER, I am being sued by an ex-employee. Not my workplace, mind you, this is a personal suit. All of my disposable (ha!) income now is being diverted to mounting legal bills.
Insurance will not pay for more than once a week. In fact, they said if I need more help then once a week, I should be in an outpatient hospital program.
So for at least the next 2 months, I can only go once a week. But I will just twiddle my thumbs. I will not open up knowing that I won't have the support of any aftermath for another whole week. (I'm pretty shaky -- I need a lot of support from my T. Sigh.) And of course, during this lawsuit, I would need more support than ever.
My T offered to do a second session for free, and I could pay him back "slowly whenever." Unacceptable. More debt and more indebtedness to him.
He thought I should just try to make the best of once a week. But we both know I will be stalled and frustrated. He said we couldn't work on the significant "big" issues we were just beginning to make headway in.
My proposal was to not come for 8 weeks. The suit would be over by then. I could use the accumulated insurance-approved sessions to go more than once a week and have actual meaningful therapy. But the thought of have no support for 2 months has made me cry every night since I found out. I know I would revert to my old, self-sufficient, emotionally dead ways just to endure. I'm very attached to my T. :(
I feel cursed. Which would you choose -- once a week or the two month break? Thanks for any help you can give.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:513981
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/513981.html