Posted by PM80 on June 8, 2005, at 8:34:22
In reply to Re: Session yesterday - long, posted by sleepygirl on June 7, 2005, at 17:16:24
They would not stop me or anything, but I really would rather not at all discuss my feelings about it. I would rather just state the obvious - that I was going downstairs to look through some of my mom's stuff. My dad has not exactly proven capable of emotional support. He's not a bad guy or anything; his mother was schizophrenic and I think he grew up trying to stay in a safe personal bubble that could shut a lot out. He never learned good communication skills when it comes to emotional things and he never really learned how to be there for others. After my mom died he leaned on me. I took care of all/most of the things my mom did down to grocery shopping, making brother's doctor's appointments, cooking dinner, etc. I have tried in the past to tell him how he can help, but if he feels the least insecure about it he doesn't listen and tries something else. SOhe can say and think that: see, he was trying to help and woe is him I didn't just openly accept it with lots of gratitude. All that when he ignored what I actually needed after I spelled it out for him. Then we end up with me playing a chastising parent and him playing the try-to-stay-safe child. Which is bad all around.
Obviously, I have so many mixed feelings here. I think if I told him how I felt about my mom and that I was still grieving and etc that he would shut down emotionally. He has done this in the past right before my eyes more than once. And, anything I tell him will get passed along to my step-mom.
Anyway, thanks for your input. Sometimes it really helps to just get it out.
poster:PM80
thread:509057
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050606/msgs/509579.html