Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 20:22:23
In reply to Self Modality, posted by 64bowtie on May 22, 2005, at 14:20:23
Change always means loss, Rod. In order to reach out to grasp ahead, we have to let go of what's behind. And it might not always seem like something worth holding on to. Yet, it is. It has provided us with whatever security or comfort we've managed to hang on to in all these years.
If you want people to change, you have to make what they're reaching for look enticing enough to let go. And you have to stand there with your arms outstretched so that they won't be afraid of falling. And you have to be patient if at the last minute they are afraid and turn back.
My therapist has consistently done all those things. It's hard to make change look enticing to me. And I need to feel very safe to loosen my grasp on the familiar. And I do get scared and turn back.
And he's there when I do. Coaxing and teasing me on. Showing how solid he is, and how he can easily bear my weight should I fall.
I think it'll be easiest for you to help others move forward, Rod, if you understand how much you're asking them to give up.
poster:Dinah
thread:501252
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050521/msgs/501395.html