Posted by pinkeye on May 10, 2005, at 12:56:11
In reply to P.S. (For tomorrow) I don't necessarily agree, posted by Dinah on May 9, 2005, at 22:10:07
That is true.
Also what you said yesterday about not trying to please others is so true. I do that all the time, and I get burnt out, and end up taking it out on them at the end anyway.
I am so afraid of hurting my father's feelings and my husband's feelings and then I just try to accommodate everyone, and then in the end anyway I collapse, and they have no clue what is going on.. Because in their mind everything was going fine and I was happy. But I keep everything inside, and all the anger bursts one day. I should have first refused to marry my husband if I had wanted to stay in the US.. but I just said yes yes, and then finally realized it is too much for me. And I let my dad direct all my actions, and then one day I am blaming him too much.
Maybe from the beginning if I guard my own interests then maybe they will get upset, but they might be able to deal with it..
I am so afraid of making anyone upset, and I just try to please please please, and then one day, it becomes too much for me, and I become ill and stressed, and they have no clue what is going on. I think I picked up this habit as a child, because I couldn't refuse my dad and stand him getting angry at me. I thought he was all right and I was all wrong. Maybe atleast now I should start looking at things a different way. And I thought I was not a good person, and my dad was perfect. But now I know it is not so.
Thanks guys.
poster:pinkeye
thread:495224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/496023.html