Posted by Susan47 on March 3, 2005, at 19:04:56
In reply to ((((((((((((((((((((((((Susan))))))))))))))))))))) » Susan47, posted by Dinah on March 3, 2005, at 18:49:38
I saw him and he seems very very angry with me, although he denies it. I don't know if I'm imagining it or not. I've been delusional before, about lots of things. A LOT of things. That's what he knows about me, too. And I think he would use it to break me. Just now, sitting there at his counter and avoiding my gaze, asking me "Is there something I can do for you?" that told me just how delusional my thinking was, but I don't know, I could be being delusional about that as well. I wish there were a third person, an invisible eye, an observer, of everything that's gone on, so I'd know the truth. It hurts to think Pinkeye's dream could be true for me, the things I've seen in the relationship that point in that direction, many many things. I wish I weren't so full of self-loathing after seeing my reflection in his eyes, today. I wish I were never born.
poster:Susan47
thread:465969
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050225/msgs/466171.html