Posted by Susan47 on February 24, 2005, at 14:04:22
I have said I'll take my 8 year-old son to Chess tournament this weekend. In the city. Okay. A city I haven't been to in a long time because I've just been hiding. So, I have to drive there through there find my way around and that's no problem I can do that. I know I can do that. But I have a job interview tomorrow morning. A job I want. It's just a casual position, it's not a lot of money (oh god I long for the days when I made a decent salary) but it's a start. I'm scared. I'm nervous. I should be studying. Tonight I have an "Employment Skills" class, my daughters in a talent show at her school which I have to miss. I'm trying to find the cord for the video camera, I stashed it somewhere and have no idea where. I'm panicked, I feel tight in my chest and I want to cry. I have phoned my ex-T's machine saying how scared I am to leave town, to leave the safety of his phone. I want to run down to his office and sit there. I want to hear his voice, talking to someone else, being natural and warm and caring. I want to cry and scream and jump out of my skin. I don't know how I can last two days without mj and depression hitting me. I don't know how to handle this. I'm really being silly a part of my mind knows I can do this, I've done it before, I have a lot on my plate but I can do it. I should be studying, I think I may be tested on my medical terminology. I have to miss a class on Saturday, an important one before an exam. I'm scared. If anybody can give me some steps to follow, some advice to take, I'd really love it, I'd welcome your help with open arms. Please.
poster:Susan47
thread:462751
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050218/msgs/462751.html