Posted by Susan47 on February 24, 2005, at 12:47:51
In reply to Why Do I Feel Like This?, posted by 10derHeart on February 24, 2005, at 11:02:05
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> Or so I thought.
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> Then I have these *episodes*. Like two weeks ago, and now today. I just crumble. I cry and don't want to see anyone. Right this second I've turned off my phone and am not going to a really important birthday lunch for a dear friend. I can't believe I'm being so da*n rude and weak. How will I explain this? These friends, I think, are weary of me awkwardly trying to explain away short bouts of depression (IF that's what this is) as the reason I suddenly withdraw at times. They don't understand, I can tell. They look away and don't know what to say. I can't blame them. Most saw me just last night, and I was FINE. No wonder they don't get it.
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Oh man I go through that with my friends, too. It doesn't seem to matter how much they love me or care about me, the concern for me is always there just under the surface. And it changes the way they relate to me. Funnily enough, though, I have friends of the other kind, friends who've been through/are going through/have other friends or relatives who've been through traumas, or have mental illness, and we do understand each other and our expectations of each other are very low, but also very loving. Maybe you could to cultivate a more diverse circle of friends? Would that help, do you think, 10derheart?
poster:Susan47
thread:462668
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050218/msgs/462726.html