Posted by littleone on November 1, 2004, at 15:37:17
In reply to Re: Discouraged, feeling selfish (long) » Aphrodite, posted by daisym on October 30, 2004, at 15:56:56
> Grieving entails telling the story over and over and over again, each time finding a new angle and a new feeling. Like a child learning a new skill, or anyone you've ever met who recently had a baby and wants to tell their birth story. Powerful events need telling.
Daisy, your post included so much helpful information. I'm still trying to take it all in. However, I did have some immediate comments about the above.
Earlier in the piece, a lot of my therapy was focused on dealing with the accident I witnessed and dealing with the fact that I believe that people don't like me and I have no friends.
My T said that to get past the accident, I had to describe it over and over and over. I had assumed this was so I would kind of become desensitised to it. He never mentioned anything about seeing it from fresh angles or finding new feelings. I kind of suspect that telling the story over and over would not be all that helpful unless new thoughts and feelings are discovered and explored. Inside, I kind of think that becoming desensitised to it may be the best approach for some people, but for me it is just reinforcing my avoidant tendencies. Smother, forget, deny. But, of course, my avoidant side is yelling out "yes, that's right, just desensistise yourself!!" :)
Also, this really confused me when I talked to my T. If retelling a story heals you, how does this work if you are no longer seeing a T? I'm sure that if you have just 1 friend, they aren't going to want to listen to it 20 times, but likewise, who has time to nurture 20 close friendships? I just don't understand how it is all supposed to work in real life.
poster:littleone
thread:409215
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/410189.html