Posted by Daisym on October 29, 2004, at 19:57:29
In reply to Safety, posted by underthecs on October 28, 2004, at 21:16:19
My therapist would call it safety too...we frequently talk about attachment and the need for a safe base. Some people call it resiliency, borrowing your therapist's strong core to shore up your own.
We've recently started talking about merging. I posted about how hard it is to leave the safety of his office sometimes and I told him this. He said he had been thinking about this in terms of merging and separating. We've been working together long enough now where often we do merge emotionally and I feel held and contained. So when time is up, I have to rip myself apart again and this is scary and painful. I totally agreed. He talked about allowing myself to take pieces of him with me, into my inner core to feel him with me. It actually has made it easier and safer to leave.
And then there is the whole atmosphere of his office, itself. I don't usually go at night. Monday I had a very late appointment, due to my schedule and he really wanted us to meet, so it was dark. I was nervous that this would trigger my defenses but he had all the lamps on and it was still up in the trees and still cozy. And it started to rain softly, which was a nice background. I told him I was just staying and shutting out all the bad things in the world. He was fine with that, he even pointed out the blanket on the couch.
Even with the struggles this week, he makes me feel safe. Which is probably why I miss it so intensely when it isn't there. *sigh*
poster:Daisym
thread:408593
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/408896.html