Posted by mandinka on October 5, 2004, at 17:45:07
In reply to Re: In agony over termination (very long!) » mandinka, posted by Aphrodite on October 5, 2004, at 10:32:22
I'm so glad I came here. Thanks for the kind words and advice.
I'll behave myself and only ask T1 once more about the files. If he doesn't reply, I'll drop the subject.
T2 knows T1 professionally - they went together through training but they are not close friends, so she cannot just call him up and grill him with impunity (what a pity...). Anyway, she also says T1 is a great guy with a big heart. She feels very sorry for both of us.
It is so sad, when you lose a guy like that. If he was some irresponsible lowlife then it would be so much easier to handle. But the realization that not even the best are immune and can discover after years of work on themselves that they still have blind spots the size of Texas is very discouraging. I hope that one day I'll sit down with him, when he's ready, and we'll talk about what really happened. Maybe later his boundaries will become more permeable and he'll share with me the truth.
Right now I plan on doing an intensive. There is a pair of regressive therapists that has a facility a couple of hours away from where I live, where patients can stay. It will probably be a 6 or 8 day thing of continuous defense dismantling. I'd like to utilize my surplus of pain and vulnerability - it will make me break down more easily. I'll be meeting these guys next Monday and I'll certainly let you know what happened.
Thanks again. You are great.
poster:mandinka
thread:398929
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/399319.html