Posted by 10derHeart on September 26, 2004, at 23:23:02
In reply to Re: Do therapists lie? ....to everyone, posted by shrinking violet on September 26, 2004, at 18:47:44
This is the thread. http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040918/msgs/393561.html
I guess we can never 100% KNOW what another person will do in the future, even our Ts. But, FWIW, the only approach that *might* make it better is to talk openly to your T. before termination and really make sure she knows how important this is to you. Sounds like the two of you have already made a good start.
That's sort of what I did, although we should have talked more. We just barely touched on what he would do, in fact, his hesitation and talking around it a bit showed me he was not quite sure of the right answer. It's not easy for them either, I suppose. I did know it would be okay to write/email - no doubts about his sincerity b/c he did specific things to be sure I had his email and snail mail addresses. That was unbelievably important to the whole relationship, as other posters have said, I'm not sure how I would have dealt with the shattering of trust if he hadn't been true to his word. My T has 15+ yrs. experience and is uncommonly tuned in to what each person needs from him, IMH (but biased!)opinion, so I am fortunate.
I know how these doubts must go round and round in your head. Just try to talk to her more - and try not to wait too long in case it's hard (what isn't?) I know with me I had to write it down - I was so scared to say it to him. It was a raw, emotional subject at our last session, but once it was out it was a huge relief. I didn't know what he would say. I hoped, and luckily he is flexible and easy-going with this. We shall see, though. Only just got first email, and can already feel how that reactivates a lot of the grief I've already worked through when he left 3 months ago. But, I have a hunch it'll be worth it. The joy of any sporadic contact will far outweigh the tears and I can't worry about the *what ifs*. He was with me through a tough, scary part of my life. Why, as long as there is no apparent harm, should either of us have to act as if the other person dropped off the earth?
But I can see this wouldn't work for all. It's a difficult, delicate thing, I think. Think positive - I'm praying for a good outcome for you.
poster:10derHeart
thread:394702
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040925/msgs/395539.html