Posted by mair on August 13, 2004, at 17:26:13
This week without my therapist has been awful, but I really think that more than my therapist, I've acutely missed my secretary who also has been on vacation. We're all supposed to feel abandoned when our Ts leave us, but the person who I really feel abandoned me is my secretary. I've spent the entire week trying to figure out how to do things that she does sleepwalking and almost every phone call I've taken (or dodged) has been from someone who is angry because I haven't been able to get their work done. I trudge home every night feeling battered because I hate feeling like I'm disappointing people, but there is simply a limit to what I can accomplish and I'm working to my limit, albeit probably inefficiently.
Being able to meet with my therapist would have given me a few respite hours where I could think about something other than everything I'm not getting done. In that respect, having her here would've been great. However, my secretary is a master at maintaining a fire wall between me and my clients. Somehow, she makes them feel ok about the fact that I'm way behind or I'm not returning their phone calls. Right now I need her more than I need my therapist.
I never thought of transference in the context of any relationship other than the relationship I have with my therapist. However, today I realized that I felt hurt that my secretary was not around to help me when I really needed her. I know there is never a "good" time for people to take a vacation, and I don't begrudge my secretary a vacation too, but I really did feel abandoned, and pretty sorry for myself to boot.
Mair
Now I have to figure out how not to make her feel guilty when she comes back.
poster:mair
thread:377334
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/377334.html