Posted by DaisyM on August 12, 2004, at 19:41:22
In reply to Re: Urgent Dilemma, Need TOVacation Club Support, posted by pegasus on August 12, 2004, at 13:30:10
Today started with my therapist calling at 8am to remind me to please come, even if I thought it would be hard. I had mentioned that I might not be able to make myself come and say good-bye. Plus I had a really big presentation to make and he knew that the timing was bad so he was offering support.
I did go and we talked for a while about my presentation. He finally said, "I'm leaving tomorrow." I said I was painfully aware of that. He asked how I was doing with it all and the tears started to come and my little kid-self asked if she could say that she didn't want him to leave. He said of course, she can say anything. But she needed to know that he wasn't leaving her...he was going away and coming back. This is hard for her to believe, given her history. I did ask if all his clients were having such a rough time and he said no, but they weren't working on the same things we were or at the same place. Not to worry, it was normal to miss your therapist.
We talked about the phone call and I told him my thoughts (and all of yours). We do have great phone conversations so I'm not worried about it going badly. But I think it will be hard to open up the sadness again. He liked the compromise of leaving me a voice mail that he is still out there, thinking of me and doing fine...and coming back. So he is going to do that for me, as well as leave me one tomorrow saying... "I will be back!"
I got very quiet, holding in the tears. He asked me if I would hold something for him until he came back. He gave me his talisman and said it was given to him by a good friend for spiritual protection and he wanted me to hold it until he came back. It is a little worn, leather pouch that holds a turquoise stone. It fits in the palm of your hand. I was very touched. I think he knew that it was impossibly hard for to allow the child in me to have something but she really wanted a tangible reminder. He said it would protect me until he came back. And that now I knew he had to come back, because he needed his talisman.
After I left, I sat in my car and opened the little pouch to look at the stone. Guess what? He had tucked a tiny picture of himself in the pouch for me too. I've never asked him for a picture...but I was so glad to have it. I burst into tears. He's the best...no doubt about it!
As I drove home, I continued to cry and accidentally ran a red light. And got pulled over. The poor policeman...he could see that I was crying and he asked what was wrong. Imagine me, tears everywhere, wailing at him, "My therapist is leaving for vacation and I can't see him again for 12 days!" He was so shocked and didn't know what to do that he let me off the ticket IF I promised to stop crying before I started driving again.
So right now I feel wrung out and sad and sentimental. And warm and glad, in the knowledge that he understands and cares. It is going to be a long 12 days. I'll be looking for help, a lot.
Thanks for all the opinions and support. You guys are the best!
Daisy
poster:DaisyM
thread:376556
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/377002.html