Posted by B2chica on August 1, 2004, at 16:09:49
In reply to Re: if the bridge leads to slaughter do you still go?, posted by daisym on July 30, 2004, at 18:46:30
>>So, in the name of peace, maybe you shouldn't write in it when he is home, or awake. I think you said it yourself, he is frustrated to not be able to help you. Some people are just snoops.
i agree. and i usually try when i know he's not around or out working on projects but usually he suprises me by coming in (i don't hear him) that's why i quickly shut the journal and he gets upset.
>>It doesn't matter how many times people tell me that honest communication is the best way to handle some of these kinds of issues. After explaining over and over again that most of my husband's behaviors and needs are medication/illness driven, I've given up. It isn't that I am unaware that he can be selfish and self-involved WITHOUT these other things, but adding them in makes the whole situation impossible. I'm a pro at avoiding most of the fight triggers anymore.YES, i agree 100%. i do my best to just do what i can to avoid these "happenings" cuz i know they really are triggers for me to head down hill (as you could tell by my hopeless feelings in my original post)
>>He agrees that most likely anything I tell him won't remain private and it will only result in a fight where I am made to feel even worse about feeling depressed.EXACTLY!
>>I am unable and unwilling to share mine with him for fear of burdening an already overburdened person.
YES, and also someone who as much as you try doesn't understand the kind of pain i feel.
>>But I think you might have a support in his mom that if you can find the courage to step toward, might really help you with the loneliness of keeping it all inside. Because you could then loop it back to include your husband. You say she is a wonderful person, is she trustworthy? Can she keep a secret? If so, maybe YOU talking to her first, might really help you.you know i've thought this so many times. Yes she is trustworth, she really can keep a secret. but...just not yet.
> You shouldn't have to defend your need for privacy. But ultimately, having the privacy is more important than him understanding why you need the privacy. I wish you could have both.
Thank you. I think i really needed to hear this. REALLY REALLY needed to hear this. i think it(he) makes me feel like i'm less of a wife if i don't.
>>But you aren't. We are here for you, at least in cyberspace.and i truly don't ever know what i'd do without you all.
thank you DaisyM
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:372402
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040728/msgs/372919.html