Posted by Racer on June 24, 2004, at 15:51:09
This really is about psychology...
Yesterday, while I was able to *say* many of the things on my mind, I wasn't really "there" saying them, if that makes sense. It was all that intellectualizing recitation, nothing touching me. I'm assuming most of you understand what I mean by that.
I'm feeling like an egg subjected to the device named in the subject line. (Remember those? Shows your age.) I may look solid on the outside, but inside there's a scrambled mess. It's very painful, and I'm suffering a bad case of the failures right now which that session contributed to. Yes, I did tell myself that I could call it a limited success, because I did say those things. Alas, that don't do much for me -- except start up the 'you make it so easy for yourself -- here you're calling this failure a limited success' stuff. In other words, please don't try to convince me that saying it counted, because I've already tried that on myself {{wan smile}}
Now here is a question that I would like input on:
For anyone who has also gone through this intellectualizing instead of feeling routine in therapy, do you think that, in the end, saying it in ANY manner was helpful in the end? Does anyone have a theory about the mechanism for how that works? (By the way, many of my 'successes' in life have involved doing something the 'wrong' way according to everyone around me only to have it work better my way than the 'right' way would have made possible. I do believe that sometimes demanding that something be done the 'right' way is only a lack of imagination.) Can it be good because it does get the issues on the table, even if they can't be processed, for example? Or is it -- as a therapist once told me -- just wasting time in therapy?
Thanks for all your input on this one.
poster:Racer
thread:359879
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040624/msgs/359879.html