Posted by Cece on June 11, 2004, at 22:56:14
In reply to Bipolar 2 and Isolation, posted by Pandabear on June 6, 2004, at 20:41:00
I haven't been on these boards for awhile, and am here today because I too am feeling very isolated and like isolating. I'm BP II also, and relatively stable with meds, but the last few months have been quite stressful and I am worn out and I'm down. I am very lonely, but don't really want to be with people- I don't have the energy to put on a happy face.
I'm single and don't have people in my life that I can really be open with about how I'm feeling (except my monthly shrink and monthly counselor- limited by my health insurance). But I resent that more than you seem to.
My sister, who lives on the other side of the country is basically non-responsive, out of her own fears and unacknowledged depression I think. I try to understand her limitations, but resent that she clearly just doesn't want to hear about it when I'm having a hard time.
My friends are somewhat sympathetic but don't understand what it's like to have to deal with this illness all the time- and they don't seem to want to know either, even though they mostly are not shallow people. Recently I told my "best" friend that I was struggling with my stability. I didn't say it in a demanding way, just like this is what's happening with me right now. She said nothing. And when we spoke a few days later, she didn't ask me how I was doing.
I would not, and don't, look the other way when a friend, or my sister, could use my support, and I just don't get it. It's not as if I'm always down and always burdening other people, and I'm not asking anyone to be my therapist- I just want to be acknowledged in a friend-like way. If I had diabetes and told a friend that I was having serious problems with my insulin levels, I think that they would be interested and concerned, and probably call to check in and see how I was doing.
Supposedly these are enlightened times re mental disorders, and I live in a very liberal place (San Francisco). I don't get it (well, yeah I do in ways, but I'm tired of seeing it from other people's perspective and tired of feeling like I have to either hide my feelings or hide away from the world).
poster:Cece
thread:354373
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040603/msgs/355932.html