Posted by Dinah on May 26, 2004, at 11:13:48
In reply to 2 scoops, extra whipped cream and a cherry, please, posted by All Done on May 26, 2004, at 0:51:16
Of course you're upset!!!
I happen to remember that your husband is a lovely man. He just doesn't understand. So it's just a matter of communicating it to him. If that includes including your therapist in the discussion, that's something I personally would freely do, as long as the conversation stayed on the topic of the importance of continuity.
I often tell my therapist that therapists aren't like washers at the laundromat. This one is out of order (or doesn't accept my money) so I'll just move to the one next door. The therapeutic relationship is a very large part of what makes therapy work.
You might also remind him that the cost effectiveness to switching therapists isn't as great as he might think. First you have to add on several months to the new therapist to come anywhere near where you are with this one, in terms of understanding you and your history. And add on several more months to deal with the trauma of premature termination. And don't forget that during this time you won't be your optimal best as a wife, mom, and employee. Plus all the extra time he'll need to spend in a supportive role.
You might sit down with your husband and let him know what things you personally are willing to give up to continue to see your therapist.
And whatever offer your therapist makes, remember he isn't required to make it. He is only offering what he is willing to accept, and I'm certain he would prefer to finish the work you have started together. Don't let pride keep you from accepting it.
And remember that if worst comes to worst, many people have successfully transitioned to a new therapist, although some have had trouble (Hey! You might tell your husband some of those stories!). Some people even find that the new therapist is better, or has new insights.
Ok, that's lame coming from me, I know. And I am sorry that this is happening. I remember how ill I get whenever even the frequency of seeing my therapist is threatened.
poster:Dinah
thread:350659
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040522/msgs/350744.html