Posted by devon00 on April 30, 2004, at 23:48:01
Although I desperately want a relationship, dating/relationships bring out my worst insecurities. Every time a date goes nowhere or the guy doesn't call, it's like having concrete proof that I am a loser, reject, unattractive, etc. At least that's how I FEEL.
I meet guys who are interested, yet it always fizzles out on their end. I feel that something goes wrong early on, within the first date or two...but I don't know how to identify what it is. I’m trying to identify and work on problem areas.
1. AFFECTION - I am very shy about showing affection. It takes me a while to trust someone and come out of my shell in that regard. I am very shy about kissing, touching, etc. Although I crave physical affection, I tense up because I fear rejection. I worry that men see that as a lack of chemistry. Sometimes I just don’t feel “in my own skin.”
2. SELF ESTEEM - Also, I know my low self esteem and lack of confidence are probably unattractive qualities, but i just don't know how to fix this lifelong problem.
3. PATIENCE - The other thing is that maybe I don’t know the "rules" of dating?? I guess I am impatient and want to get to know someone as quickly as possible so I can determine where things are going. In a way, I am compulsively searching for a relationship. I don’t just wait to see where it goes…I worry and stress. Maybe I make contact too soon after a date? What are the rules?? My friends say it may take a week for him to call…I freak if I don’t get a call within 2 days. But I can’t relax, because to me my self worth is on the line.
I know a relationship isn't the solution to life's problems, but it would bring so much joy...a few years ago I was in a long-term relationship and that was the one time I felt safe and protected and loved. I long to experience that again.
poster:devon00
thread:342037
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040426/msgs/342037.html