Posted by Racer on March 12, 2004, at 10:03:58
In reply to Re: terrics -- may I ask some ?? about SI? » terrics, posted by tinydancer on March 12, 2004, at 1:56:56
See, I first came across references to SI in that classic book, "I Never Promised You A Rose Garden". That's not new, and it's way before SI became even as known as it is today. I have only ever once done something of this kind, but I remember clearly that it was a very simple equation for me then: I hurt so much inside, I needed to hurt outside to relieve the pain. This was back in college, and it was one night, and one act on my part, so not a pattern by any means, but even at the time, I was creating physical pain to distract me from the emotional pain. Does that make sense?
It is so sad that, when it seems to be becoming more common, so little is really known about how to treat it. I think a lot of therapists really don't know how much attention to give to the behavior, for the fear you've both mentioned of making it into a self-sustaining behavior. Personally, I think that's part of a larger problem: trying to standardize a process that, by its nature, must be individualized. Some people might step up SI behavior in order to keep the therapist's attention, but others need a light shined on it in order to begin to heal. There's no way to standardize patients, and so many are going through what you've both described. Wanting help, having insight into the dangers of receiving attention from this behavior, knowing the dangers of falling into it as an attention seeking behavior, and not getting the treatment for it that you need in order to feel better. I guess that's what made me curious and wanting to ask you about how it's handled in therapy.
I really hope neither of you has taken any offense by my comments about something so personal. I'm trying to understand, and I'm using what you write as an aspect of some of my own self-injurious behaviors - mostly sins of omission, rather than comission: I tend to starve myself, and to shut down my emotions as a way of withdrawing from the world around me -- so this isn't just morbid curiousity. I'm hoping to learn more about myself and my own behaviors through a better understanding of more obvious and focussed self-injury. Does that make sense?
Also, since terrics just rocked the foundations of my world, just by writing that she'd try to hear me, I am feeling a pretty strong desire to provide that same warm, safe feeling to her in return. That made me feel so good -- see, it's not so hard -- that I'd like to be able to offer warmth and comfort right back atcha.
Thank you both for exposing so many very personal feelings.
poster:Racer
thread:323072
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040308/msgs/323564.html