Posted by Waterlily on March 1, 2004, at 18:16:10
In reply to Re: Three years of therapy, almost finished finally!, posted by gardenergirl on February 28, 2004, at 14:21:47
Thanks for the kind thoughts. I feel like my therapist spent a lot of time instilling security in me, especially in the context of therapy. She let me know that she'd always be there and that she had no plans on going anywhere. I appreciated where she was going with that...I was left with a deep sense of insecurity after what I went through during my childhood, so not worrying that she was going to up and move away on me or terminate therapy before I was prepared for it was important. I had several set-backs in therapy and more than once worried that I was getting nowhere.
This might sound a little weird, but one thing she said in January made a big impact on me. She said something to the effect that I often felt like I'd like to be invisable. A lightbulb went off in my head. It was true! I'd walk in a store and hope no one would notice me or come up to me. I'd try to be inconspicuous as possible. Now, it's easy to see where that came from. My dad was very unpredictable and I would try to not be noticed by him. Also the typical teasing by other children. I obviously have no need for this anymore and I cannot make myself invisable no matter how hard I try. Fact is that I exist and people will have to deal with that even if they don't think highly of me. Ever since she said that I've been holding my head higher. Like I said, it's useless to try to shrink, so I'd might as well stand up and be myself.
poster:Waterlily
thread:318312
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040225/msgs/319195.html