Posted by bell_75 on February 27, 2004, at 19:44:01
My therapist and I have devised a suicide plan for me (i was abit shocked at the title at first but later released he meant anti-suicide ;)).
The first is to fill out a suicide thought record when I'm having serious worrying suicidal thoughts. I'm scared, really scared.
I feel I'm so unstable and that I can't possible contemplate a life beyond depression.
my therapist is very supportive and helpful in trying to overcome my suicidal urges, sometimes they're mediocre othertimes I get really determined and confident.
I was wondering..does anyone else here with depression feel as though they're always going to be depressed and miserable for the rest of their life?
I have been doing CBT with my therapist for awhile now and with this thought he made me write a list of evidence for and against this notion that I'm going to be depressed for the rest of my life and never be happy. This is one of the things that is making me very suicidal.
These arent idle threats and theres a part of me that doesn't want to kill myself but the other part is saying its my only way of escaping the permanent misery that is severe depression.
So..I've done step 2 on my suicide plan :) Which is to come here and read posts or post about how I'm feeling. We talked about things that helps me talk myself out of it or feel better and this was one place. The next step is to talk to family/friend then after that if I'm still suicidal to go outside and relax because i told him thats one of my favourite things to do when im stressed out.
Thanks for your time, people. This place is helping me just by hearing your stories and hopes and fears related to your condition or therapy woes. Much love.
Wish me luck with this plan. I hope it works well.
~Michelle
poster:bell_75
thread:318360
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040225/msgs/318360.html