Posted by Bell_75 on January 18, 2004, at 0:18:30
In reply to update on sister is cutting, posted by Lyrical13 on January 17, 2004, at 8:45:26
Hi
I didnt have this advice last time i read your post but I have a suggestion for you and your sis as far as cutting goes.
I'm 19 turning 20 at the moment but when i was around 16,17 & early 18 i was heavily into cutting.
When I left school and had some time to break away from alot of the stress as well as start my meds then eventually therapy I stopped needing to cut myself.
Over the last few weeks I've had a relapse and been diagnosed with a major depressive disorder when before i had ony clinical. I've started cutting again and feelings of suicide.
My therapist luckily has been understanding about this however he wanted to figure out a way to stop me from needing to cut because its not a safe thing to do.
He spoke to me about the feelings I have that lead up to me cutting myself (mainly on my inner arm) then said we should replace the feeling of relief i get from cutting with something else thats just as painful but more safe.
He told me that as a kid him and his brother's used to hold their arms in a bucket of ice and see who could hold it in there the longest (heh yeah I rolled my eyes at that one too).
However his point was, after awhile it really starts to sting and cause pain.
So his suggestion to me was whenever i felt the intense need to cut myself to cause the pain I feel from it I should get ice (or those ice bricks used for cooling) and place it on my skin and hold it there till it starts to really ache.
The best places are where your lymphatic glands are near the surface of the skin so the ribs area,underarms, upper thighs, neck area. Also on my arms where i do my cutting and anywhere else where it'll really hurt.
Now when he told me this I sort of thought it'd be abit strange and hard to explain to someone else but that night when i went home and started getting really out of control I had the urge to cut myself.
I got out of bed, went to the fridge and grabbed 2 ice bricks then placed them straight on both sides of my ribs. The strange thing was I also got abit of a giggle out of it because it felt abit silly but afterawhile it actually did work. It started stinging like mad but i just kept holding them there till I felt the need go away. Then even when i took them away it hurt abit to touch the really cold area. So it worked!
I got abit of comic relief and felt the desired pain without the scarring and doing serious harm to myself.
I admit that it isnt an instant cure by any means. I still think about it alot and have the urges but it was an innovative approach to a very serious issue.
Also, he was worried about me being extremely suicidal so he printed up on the computer a contract between us that said something like this:
"by signing this contract I,*insert name*, agree to not attempt suicide or harm myself before calling *therapist's name* or Lifeline.
*space to sign then person's name underneath*"
It took me a long time to sign this agreement/contract but eventually I did and he gave me his cell phone number. I agreed that I wouldnt do anything until I called him and I felt so much better after having agreed to this.
After signing both of us felt relieved and like we had a better grasp on the situation.
So maybe I thought you could pass on the ice idea to your sister and maybe even tell her you'll do it with her as moral support. It might even make you both have a much needed laugh.
Also the idea of a contract isnt a bad one, you could write one up between you and her than no one else has to know about stating that she will call you or page etc when she feels these urges and not do anything (including cutting) until she has spoken to you. If you speak calmly but seriously while you talk about the contract then she will see you're not just joking around and that you wont accept her breaking the terms of the contract.
Sorry this post is a biggie but I've had this ideas in my mind and I thought this would be a very worthy time to share the advice of my therapist. At least consider it even if some may sound abit silly because trust me, it works for me. I haven't broken the terms of the contract yet and its helped me feel in control of my suicidal and cutting urges.
I wish you the best of luck for you and your sister. You're a very brave and caring person and don't forget how much benefit it is to her that she has you there even if she may not say it.
Sometimes people just cant find the words.Much hugs to you *huuuugs*
Hope I've at least given you some food for thought. Take care :)
~Bell
poster:Bell_75
thread:301953
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/302192.html