Posted by daveyboy on January 3, 2004, at 15:44:08
Okay, I'm at my wits end with this and have decided to poll the audience. I am a 32 yr old male who is the adult child of an alcoholic/rage-aholic father and codependent coddling mother (God love her) and have known about and been addressing this fact through 12 step self-help programs off and on for 10 years now. I've been through some tough times including: emotionally surviving my child hood, unexpected pregnancy @ 19, married @ 20, divorced at 22, Chap 7 bankruptcy at 23. However, I also know I don't and haven't had it the worst. However, every time I start a new job (one that is appropriate for my educational background) I wind up with extreme anxiety (terror is more like it) and feel like I'm going to die or something is going to kill me and things stay this way until I get to know the job and coworkers a little. Until I settle in though, it is practically impossible to learn, or comprehend anything to the point of having problems putting a full sentence together. Two months ago I decided to make an internal move after working 3.5 years in my previous position. I thought I was okay but as soon as I started my first day of work the terror began including: couldn't sleep, no appetite, cold and sweaty palms and feet, etc. After 4 days of this I knew I was in trouble and went to the doctor, told him this happens every time I start a new job, he responded that it sounds like there's some abuse in your past and put me on Paxil for the anxiety & depression and Ambien for sleep. I've also started talk therapy with a therapist who specializes in abuse and is also an adult child of an alcoholic but have only seen her once and feel that it will take forever to talk my way out of this. Anyways, this is the 4th time this has happened and 3.5 years ago when I switched companies I landed in the hospital for a week (totally shut down metally and emotionally). All previous episodes have been blamed on other circumstances at the time (divorce, bad relationship, etc). Guess my question is has anyone experienced or heard of this and what steps the sufferer did to alleviate? This really is humiliating and it feels like I'm handicapped...I want to work but the terror is just so overwhelming and when people look at my accomplishments they can't comprehend why or worse believe that I have this problem.
poster:daveyboy
thread:296079
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040102/msgs/296079.html