Posted by Karen_kay on December 23, 2003, at 20:48:32
In reply to Re: I'm still here. (long), posted by Dinah on December 23, 2003, at 19:22:55
greco-roman wrestling
For some odd reason, this brings visual images into my head. And I'm laughing hysterically! Thank you. I have a mental picture of what you and your therapist look like and I see you wrestling around! Now, I could have fun with this for quite a while....
The thing is, he knows that I am a human being. I've told him things that are rather traumatic. I'm having nightmares on a regular basis, and he knows this as I tell him (and they are graphic in nature and to the point that I can't sleep and always involve my father raping me). Yet, I continue to tell him, "Oh, other than that, I feel wonderful!" Now, he knows that I am very good at believing that if I pretend something doesn't exist I can make it go away. So, I go into great detail about my nightmares and flashbacks, yet I deny that it is causing me any anxiety in my life. And he doesn't press that issue. At the end of the session he does say "You're going a great job" and "I'm proud of you" but that just doesn't cut it... I don't know what I want. I just want to quit chewing gum all the time and using a pacifier (yes, I still use one). I want to unclench my jaw. And I want to quit smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day. And I want to quit shaking. He knows this is causing me to have anxiety. I shouldn't have to tell him. I shouldn't deny it. I just hate asking for things. I hate being needy.
poster:Karen_kay
thread:292631
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031221/msgs/292959.html