Posted by Karen_kay on December 16, 2003, at 14:52:38
In reply to PT Club Meeting: new question, posted by DaisyM on December 16, 2003, at 0:47:59
Daisy,
I feel the same way. The reason I feel that way is because I am so used to my mental and emotional needs and wants not being validated, not even by myself. When I know I need to cry, I don't because it means losing control. It means that something is wrong. As a child if I cried my parents would yell at me. They would tell me I have no reason to cry, I have food, I have toys, I have no reason to cry. So, not crying, to me is a learned behaivior of sorts, and a sign of weakness and loss of control. When others cry, I dislike it because I know something is wrong and I don't know what to do.I also think that maybe therapy feels selfish to you because from the outside people can't see that something is wrong. You have become very good at hiding it. Since no one knows that you are hurting, you can justify that nothing is wrong. And if nothing's wrong, then therapy is unneeded. But, inside you know something's wrong. You know that you are hurting. And you know that you aren't being selfish. You have to work on healing yourself before you can help heal others. How can you continue to take care of everyone else around you if you are falling apart? And just hiding it on the outside won't work much longer.
I'm not sure if I'm writing this to you ro myself. Maybe a little of both. I don't know if I'm right, but that's how I relate it to myself. You have to take care of you. If you fall apart, you can't take care of your family. It isn't selfish to want to get better. And working on your mind and heart is just as important as working on your physical body.
poster:Karen_kay
thread:290363
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031213/msgs/290617.html