Posted by Kalamatianos on December 15, 2003, at 0:36:19
In reply to Want to make changes to my personality, posted by devon00 on December 14, 2003, at 18:50:04
First I had to harness my gut and its terrible impact on my choices I was making; wrong choices mostly.
Today when I blame myself and start my self-torture and self-torment, I recognize that I have been here before and no longer need to be. I remember that imperatives (shoulds and don'ts) are for children, and that I gave them up when I realized that fact (at age 41). I remember the blame-reaction comes from my gut and that I can extinguish it in an instant, or else I will try to ignore it, and it will kidnap my emotions for the next four hours instead.
In order to extinguish the feelings, I bring up a mental picture of what its like to be happy, and notice what my gut feels about that picture. I order myself to retain that happy feeling in my gut while I go back to a picture of whatever I blame myself for (it may have only happened five minutes ago but it is already a picture in my past). I overlay what was upsetting to me on top of the happy feelings, and amazingly the bad feelings don't (can't) return.
I just tricked my mind into blocking the bad feelings. Why not? My undisciplined mind can block good feelings with bad feelings. Why can't I develop the habit of blocking the stress causing and destructive bad-feelings with good ones instead? In fact, it works, and it works good; goodly; well!
I've done this too many times to put up with newbies carping at me. I've also seen too many criminal, alcohol, drug, and people abusers overcome their cravings and their rage using this simple technique. It is not an event for me to use this technique. It’s a process I must practice over and over and over and over again, eventually declaring my recovery.
Read "The Second Brain" at the Border's or Barnes & Noble “libraries”. It’s a book about how most people don’t know it but they are being driven by their gut, and its independent brain. Also, Karen Hornay's book, "Tyranny of the Shoulds". She argues what to do with imperatives instead of continuing to be blackmailed by them.
poster:Kalamatianos
thread:289814
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031213/msgs/289895.html