Posted by TexasChic on November 12, 2003, at 12:33:55
I have the hardest time overcoming procrastination, and once it starts, the harder it gets. If I know a bill is due, I put it off until the last minute. Then even when I know its late, I still don't want to deal with it. Or if there's a mess, I don't want to clean it, and it just gets worse and worse until its too overwhelming to tackle. Things usually get done in spurts when I suddenly panic and realize I have to do something, like pay a bill to keep from getting in serious trouble, or clean up because people are coming over. I have had depression since childhood and anxiety since early adulthood. Lately it has been gravitating towards OCD. I am currently on Lexapro 20 mg, Topamax 75 mg, Xanax 1mg for random panic attacks, and Trazodone 50 mg for sleep. This is a new regimen I've only been on around a month. I was previously on Prozac, but when my anxiety started flaring up and showing OCD tendencies, I decided to try changing the meds. I have been going to a therapist for around 3 years for the anxiety and depression, and I recently started going to a Psychologist in order to get better medical treatment, as I was getting my meds through my primary physician before. I realize my procrastination could be from depression, but I feel like its more from the anxiety of dealing with things. Life is just so messed up right now with bills and my psycho mom who moved in with me and my Grandmother (who I care for) and has been making my life hell (my Mom, not my Grandmother). I just don't want to deal with anything anymore. I've overcome a lot in my past, I don't understand why now I'm turning into such a 'fraidy-cat. I'm trying to move out and leave my mom to care for her mother as she should have in the first place (she's not psycho with her, just me). Its just hard on me financially right now (add compulsive shopper to the list). My mom is just really jealous of me and puts me down all the time, and although I could care less about her opinion, it seeps in after a while. Anyway, this has gotten seriously long. I hope its not too confusing and passes as some sort of introduction. If feels good to write and get it out there to people who understand where you're coming from.
poster:TexasChic
thread:279032
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031030/msgs/279032.html