Posted by crushedout on November 6, 2003, at 21:39:06
In reply to Re: sexuality between us, posted by Rigby on November 6, 2003, at 21:01:29
Rigby,Thank you so much. It makes me sooooo sad to think that my T and I can never sleep together. I want to die. But everything you say makes sense. Except that since you already told me why I feel this way, what good will it do me to talk about it with her? It's so humiliating. I already feel too vulnerable. I'm sort of asking this question rhetorically (I know it must do some good) but I'm also wondering, for real. What on earth good can it possibly do? It seems like the only good outcome would be that we sleep together, get married, and live happily ever after. Any other option will be pure misery so why bother?
I think I may be PMSing because I'm feeling really hopeless about this right now.
Thanks again so much for your post.
xxxx
> Hi Crushed,
>
> I think I may have had something similar with my therapist. I too also have sexualized a lot of relationships and desperately, I believe, wanted to sexualize and wanted my therapist to sexualize "our relationship." My therapist said kind of similar stuff about attraction between us but looking back, I believe as others pointed out, it may really of been her way of phrasing what was going on for me. It's a bit dangerous, her phrasing, as you want so badly for it to be mutual and it may or it may not be but if she's a good therapist she'll never let you know--figuring out even if mutuality is important to you is something you'll learn going through the wave of attraction towards your therapist. Ultimately the therapy is about you which is hard to hear when you're feeling very sexual towards your therapist but if she's good she'll use your attraction to her for insights on you. I also learned that sexualizing relationships allows me to control them--I didn't like the power differential with my therapist so I think subconsciously I was trying to even the score. I think if you talk through all this with your therapist--you'll learn alot. It may mean the end of secretly hoping it'll happen but you can really learn alot by exploring it with someone skilled.
>
> Good luck and keep us posted.
>
> Rigby
>
poster:crushedout
thread:275544
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031030/msgs/277321.html