Posted by Penny on October 13, 2003, at 10:19:15
In reply to Choosing a therapist, posted by Dinah on October 13, 2003, at 9:36:27
Yes, unfortunately, until you've experienced transference, it's probably something you've never given any thought to, and you probably don't understand what it's all about.
My T said she used to recommend a book to her new patients that is out of print now (figures!) about what to expect from therapy. (I recommended "In Session" to her, BTW. Perhaps she will share that with some of her clients.)
I found my former therapist by sheer luck - I called a clinic where a friend of mine was seeing someone, talked to the receptionist and she recommended my former therapist after I told her a *little* of my story. When I saw my former T the first time, I didn't like her. Was afraid to 'reject' her to her face (one of my main issues is confrontation), so I made a second appointment with her, and then called a day or so later when I knew she wouldn't be there and cancelled on her voice mail. She called me back and wanted to discuss why I had cancelled, and I told her I didn't think it was a good fit, and she said that she understood how awkward it could be early in therapy, but that if I came back and still didn't want to continue with her, she would help me find a new therapist. I had had so much trouble finding a therapist, I figured that was a deal I couldn't pass up. I went back a second time, and continued seeing her for 3 years.
My current T was a referral from my pdoc, when I moved. I actually interviewed three that he recommended, and liked 2 of them but not the third. I chose my T b/c she was similar in some ways to my former T, but had some different approaches. I was also encouraged by her willingness to talk to my former T to get some history on me.
But the real clincher? I told her that I was interviewing 2 other therapists in addition to her, and her comment was "That's good, but be sure to let me know if you choose someone else, b/c I want to make sure you're in someone's good hands if not in mine." That she was concerned about me from the get-go really made her stand out from the rest. And I'm still very pleased with my decision.
My advice for choosing therapists is much like anything else - colleges, jobs, medications, etc. Research, ask questions, get other opinions, and so on. Don't be afraid to see a T a few times and then change your mind. Just b/c you've seen him or her a few times doesn't mean you're locked in forever. Just b/c someone else really likes that person (like, your pdoc, for example) doesn't mean you will.
It's so hard if you've never been in therapy, because it's hard to know what to expect, but try to remember that this is a service they are selling to you - you are the client and also the customer. If something feels off, it probably is. Listen to your instincts.
And I like the idea of an MMPI for therapists. There should be *some* way of ranking them, so to speak. At least with docs you can check with the board of medicine in your state (I don't know about other countries) to see if they are licensed, if they are being investigated, etc. Can you do the same with the licensing boards for therapists as well? It wouldn't hurt...
P
poster:Penny
thread:268915
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031011/msgs/268925.html