Posted by Miller on July 14, 2003, at 20:37:03
In reply to can't seem to get rid of my feelings for therapist, posted by pinkeye on July 14, 2003, at 19:51:59
Pinkeye,
Oh, did I have a crush on my therapist. I never brought it up to him. HE ASKED ME STRAIGHT OUT. I thought I would fall over and die. Although he said to "brace myself" I was horrified. However, he told me that it is absolutely natural to feel affection towards him. It is a real feeling. He said since he is the only person in my life who is honest and authentic with me, it is almost expected for me to have feelings towards him. I have also had the transference feelings of absolute rage towards him. At first, I refused to tell me I was upset. Then I refused to tell him why. I was so scared of making him mad. What if I ticked him off bad enough he didn't want to see me anymore? After he persuaded me, I let loose. I spilled every crumb if anger. His reply was to take all the mean things I said and made a "letter" to my dad, using my words. I was stunned. Everything I was angry at was clearly what I couldn't tell my dad. That was a major breakthrough. I couldn't automatically start directing my anger to my parents, but when he would tell me he was directing it where it belonged, I understood.
I do have very strong feelings for him still. He knows it. He also tells me to think of him as a flight instructor. There will be a time when I will fly on my own. I won't need him, but I will know he was there to teach me how to fly without hurting myself. I just have to trust him for now. I can't see me flying solo. I also can't see me wanting to. So far he hasn't been wrong.
:)
-Miller
poster:Miller
thread:241865
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030711/msgs/241879.html