Posted by shar on May 27, 2003, at 1:38:29
In reply to Mortification, posted by mair on May 13, 2003, at 15:33:42
Mortification and shame are the very basis of SO many of our real world problems in every day life that they are rich ground for exploration.
They don't feel good, the feeling (especially shame) sucks big time, but...you might be amazed at how much shame you feel *outside* your therapist's office. Thus, the office can become a place where you can experiment and experience what shame is, how it affects you, and where it comes from (the latter probably is obvious to you...mine is, of course, family of origin).
It is amazing to me how often we do feel shame at relatively innocuous occurrences...we make a mistake, we do something that nobody but us notices is 'horrible,' etc.
I would encourage you to pay good attention to when you feel shame, and to talk about it nonstop with your therapist (even though it might not feel good) until you move on to something else. The interesting thing about the human psyche is that we do, so often, move on to other things. Doesn't mean one thing won't come back (such as shame which is so deeply ingrained), but that there are so many other things we do.
Good luck to you, and I hope you and your therapist can play with that some. My T and I often refer to our time together and in group as a 'lab setting' where we get to try things out in a safe environment. I encourage you to move into trying things out, talking openly about things if you trust your therapist. It could make an interesting difference.
shar
poster:shar
thread:226377
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030407/msgs/229355.html