Posted by Dinah on April 27, 2003, at 13:58:52
In reply to Re: Forever therapy, posted by mair on April 26, 2003, at 10:06:05
So you don't want forever therapy, Mair? :)
Four years isn't really all that long. My first five years were pretty much a waste of time. No, not true. My first five years were an ongoing struggle for me to trust. One that I don't think he'd ever quite experienced before. I think he came close to giving up more often than I did, although he only tells me that in retrospect. I challenged him, tested him, was truly obnoxious in some ways. And he was always professional and accepting towards me no matter how I behaved. He tells me now that I never did *behave* all that badly; he just never felt like he was getting through to me.
But when the moment came where I admitted to myself and to him that I trusted him, that I was dependent on him, when I allowed myself to be vulnerable to him, it was a complete and total change. It took him a year or so to catch on that what I had said previous to that was no longer true (if it ever was) and that my attitude had changed. Even now he sometimes has flashbacks to that period, although I've mostly forgotten it. After that moment, I was actually able to do the work of therapy, and it was amazing how much I had soaked up when neither of us thought I was listening.
I too wonder sometimes if there is any lasting value in therapy. Sure, it keeps me together at times I'm falling apart, but am I growing? I'm still not sure. I'm kind of hoping others see it before we do. But when I start to wonder about the long term benefits, I start looking at some on the board who've been in therapy for a while. Noa, Pfinistegg, Tabitha, to name a few. I don't know if it came naturally to them or they're therapy success stories, but they seem grounded in a way that I really admire. And I hope to be grounded one day myself that way.
And when I'm in doubt about the money and time, I do remind myself of one thing. My son (and husband) don't see even a fraction of the craziness my parents unleashed on me because I unleash it on my therapist instead. If no other good than that came from it, it would be worthwhile. (Boy, do I wish my parents had their own therapists.)
Do you see any ways that therapy has already helped you? Either by bringing about changes in your attitudes, or by helping you cope better day to day?
poster:Dinah
thread:220332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030407/msgs/222745.html