Posted by Miller on February 7, 2003, at 17:14:36
In reply to Re: Yes. It helps. » Miller, posted by beardedlady on February 7, 2003, at 16:58:14
Hi Beardy,
I have now journaled for three days. It really is a surprise as to how much better I feel just putting it down on paper.
I feel I am doing better. The hardest part of all of this is try to readjust to being back in my life. I honestly feel like a visitor in someone else's life right now. I am sure I will feel the same (if not stronger) on Monday when I am going back to work.
I can't help doubting myself that I am capable of of long-term stability. I don't want to be that desperately sad again. I certainly don't want to be involuntarily put into a mental hospital again. But, I truely don't have a lot of faith in myself. It is always so easy for me to slide down to the bottom of my unhappiness. I am not sure I have enough strength to keep myself from doing it all again. I hope this is making sense.
I apologize for dumping on you. I hate to talk to people abput my doubts because they want to believe I am "well" and I don't want to disappoint them or have them feel guilty. If I don't get my life together, I will lose everything (my husband) that is important to me. So, I am pretty scared of being totally honest this early in my recovery.
Thanks for listening!!
-Miller
poster:Miller
thread:2463
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030203/msgs/2542.html