Posted by PuraVida on March 9, 2003, at 14:02:08
In reply to Re: Getting unstuck - need help if you can please » PuraVida, posted by fayeroe on March 9, 2003, at 9:12:05
Thanks Pat. Even though I know in my mind, I just need to hear someone else say "BUT, depression is an illness just like the flu. Only we don't have any control over having it. It's a chemical imbalance and all we can do is try meds, exercise, eat right, etc. etc....." Its so true.
I did call my dad, and though it did help to let it out - it never fails to amaze me to realize some of the distorted thinking I grew up with. Especially guilt. Again, intellectually I can read John Bradshaw all day long and understand, but the depression seems to find every bit of remaining guilt in me and it takes over.
You are so right about being in a better place. I was in a smiliar type of relationship - but the guy abandoned me, as I found out later, he'd done to so many other women when things got too close for his comfort. Again, intellectually I know Im in a better place - he was a functioning alcoholic, etc, At first I felt like my self-esteem was intact still - I never did and still don't blame myself for that situation. But I do feel victimized - fearful that it will happen again, fearful of the pain.
Thanks for saying that you know it will get better, and that you are blessed with where you are. Listening to myself talk above I am realizing that I really need to do some more cognitive therapy to challenge these guilt and victim type of feelings and thoughts.
Good luck on your interview, if we don't touch base before then,
PV
poster:PuraVida
thread:207189
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030203/msgs/207441.html