Posted by BeARdEdLaDY on May 21, 2002, at 7:19:11
In reply to Re: personal appearances... » sid, posted by IsoM on May 21, 2002, at 1:34:55
My sister-in-law to-be is 5'9" and has the most perfect body in the universe. I don't know what she weighs, but I'm certain it's under 120. She is all muscle--lean--and tan, too, to make matters worse. There's nothing about her that doesn't make me feel dumpy and frumpy in comparison.
I'd be lying if I didn't say that appearances don't matter. I got so tired of standing next to this woman that I joined Weight Watchers and vowed to "get even." (That's not why I joined, actually, but it's a motivating factor.) I have lost 12 pounds in 10 weeks, and it's very hard to do on Serzone and other ADs, which seem to slow our metabolism.
Anyway, about this perfect gal: she's ALWAYS talking about how much weight she's gained since she quit smoking. I can't imagine what she would have looked like before. She mentions that her brother calls her fat butt. (Where? What butt?) And I think it's pretty insensitive to say it around me, when I'm 5'4" and 150 pounds!
But I overheard her once when I was in the other room. My sister said, "I like her outfit," and my sis-in-law said, "Me too. But she always looks beautiful."
What a shocker that was.
So this is all to say that I feel bad for janejj--not because she has a wobbly stomach but because of what she must be feeling inside that the wobbly stomach matters so much. (I think she said she's "paranoid" about it.) But when she was asking for help with it, I don't think she meant to make the rest of us jealous, just like my sis-in-law doesn't mean to make me feel like a beast. Maybe some people look for praise because they don't feel confident, or maybe they don't see themselves the way we see them.
I think comparing ourselves to others is one of our most unhealthy habits. It makes us feel worse than most other things, yet we do it all the time. Sid, I have a picture of you as a beautiful person because, truly, that's what you are! Skin is not a person. (And extra skin is not an extra person!) And I see janejj as beautiful too.
We just happen to live in a really effed up universe (it's not just the Western world!) that has objectified women since the beginning of mankind, and now we can't help but do it to ourselves, too.
Well, that's my tirade for the moment.
Janejj and Sid and the rest of us goils, I hope we find what we're looking for. I hope we figure out what it is.
beardy : )>
poster:BeARdEdLaDY
thread:40
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20020516/msgs/46.html