Posted by Rello74 on September 27, 2009, at 12:59:36
I am a newbie to this site, but for sure and oldie to the subject of marijuana and quitting....Quitting is easy I do it all the time!!! but seriously I dont want to bore anyone, but I feel I need to explain myself a bit, Im a 34 yr old male, father, husband, and manager of a industrial factory. I have smoked weed since i was 17... I was already out of school, my girlfriend at the time did, and so I tried it, and loved it, twas and still is a escape from reality in a sense... I smoked for years for "fun" then when marriage and children came at a young age, i believe it was away of holding on to my "fun" carefree times...and still makeing reality "ok"...my first marriage lasted 3 years, and 1 kid, and my wife at the time smoked too, from even before when we dated...it was never an issue, my job didnt drugtest, and i just working as a peeon in the factory... eventually started smoking at work too...hide here...gotta go potty again...ya know how it goes...? i always smoked cigarettes and together or following up with a cigarette can usually cover the smell of the air and your breath..unless its some really good sh*t, then i suggest spray and gum...but anywho... as that marriage failed, i found that not all women are ok with weed...but I did find one that was ok with it but rarely if ever smoked it herself...(just put her to sleep, thats no fun!) but when you dont have a "buddy" around you all the time, it looses its luster... so hey im gonna quit, no biggy weed isnt addictive.... well I couldnt have been "wronger" than the first time I said I do.... omg...the tightness of my chest, the moodiness...man if i just have one more, just one more...and then after that "last" one.... ok just one more...well im not the brightest bulb, but it didnt take long for me to realize that there was a problem and i was "addicted" to weed... of all things. But that just made me angry and motivated,, nothing is gonna have ahold of me kinda attitude (which you have to have) and I quit....cold turkey...1 day at a time, until I was off....for like 7 months...but then... an old "buddy" came by, "hey, I got sum bud...wanna smoke up" my thoughts.... Hell yeah, Im off that sh*t, it would be fun to kick it again." Oh boy, It was fun too, just like old times years ago, road trippin in the country...felt young and "happy"...well twasnt long i was calling up that buddy, "hey thnk you can get me a bud?" 2 weeks later, back full scale, just like i never quit... years went by...knowing the suffering I did the first time I quit...put off me attempting to quit, but i hated having to smoke it to feel "normal" but missed it and loved it when i was out...and the relief when i got it, and would have it for a few days or weeks, knowing all the time im just pushing off the day when i will suffer again, to get off it. With alot of not worth mentioning attempts, id quit here and there, same cycle over and over...but now we're talking im turning 30 at this time, another kids had came....My second marriage had always been for the most part a good relationship, but my wife has issues of her own, mentally from a bad childhood, bad relationships, she was finding herself depressed, and overly emotional, for help she had gotten on anti-depressents meds...and they helped her, and was and still is a taker and advicator of medications. Finally I had it in my head whatever I had to do I was going to quit, but I was going to try to make it as painless as possible... I ran out, and as i was getting those addictive withdrawel feelings, i made a doctors appointment. I went in and pled my case to my doctor telling him, what i felt like (I never mentioned that i was a avid pothead, nor do I look like the stereotypical "stoner" I might add, but I want to make it clear, if your comfortable enough telling your doctor all the details, im sure it would be a good thing, but i wasnt, and the way i saw it, the weed wasnt the problem, its how i feel without it....) but I told him about the tightness in the chest, the feeling like i was having trouble breathing....aka, ANXIETY!!... thats it, thats what my problem is, thats why i smoke weed, cause with out it im anxious, moody..., well not to advertise a certain medicine, because we all know that they all affect different people in different ways, i was put on effexor xr, and i dont know it was in my mind, that i had help this time, with the effexor or what but I kicked it, I even quit smoking cigarettes, it wasnt fun without weed anymore, and unneccessary. I have been clean for a few years now, and I feel great. my short term memory is awesome, and you forget how necessary in life that is, esp at a stressful job, and makes you feel smarter and boosts your self esteem because your not always saying....uh what? or forgetting what you were doing, or did 5 minutes ago...but its not all roses, I lost alot of friends, but were they really friends if the only thing we had in common was our love of weed? I still get it offered to me, and I have to say no, because I know that once your addicted to something, theres never a one more time, or ive been off it for so long, it'll be ok,...thats so wrong!!! because one puff, will take you back to that place where it all started. So Im a pothead, just like an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic... the urge is still there, but my head is clear enough to know better... that is for cigarettes and weed... I am still on effexor, and maybe for the rest of my life, i will probably be looking for "how to quit effexor" in years to come, but its legal i have a prescription and it works... the mg's have been up'd of course through the years... and ive already read the horror stories of trying to get off of it, but thats a whole nother post...but I do ponder things like...is anxiety what brought me to weed in the first place, and unhappiness? or did years of smoking it, reconfigure my brain and cause me to be that way? i guess i will never know for sure, until some scientist does a study, or i read about it....but with all the different kind of meds out there, there will be one will be suitable for you, just have to try them out...."Come on...try it...Do it dude....You'll be cooooool! (lol) Good luck to all.
poster:Rello74
thread:918727
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20080507/msgs/918727.html