Posted by mikeq on August 24, 2009, at 19:02:35
Feeling pretty strange since I'm male with BPD and it's supposed to be all girls. I like girls, most of the time.
I've been in therapy for 3 years with weekly one hour sessions. The progress has enabled me to cut my front grass, I still know everyone is watching and laughing at me but I do it. I can go to holiday dinner at family members homes, most of the time. I can even go out to dinner with my mom and sister occasionally.
I get suicidal about 3 times a year so that's really not too bad (for me anyway) but the last time, about 10 days ago, my therapist told me she was overwhelmed and almost cried as she said "I'm just a part time therapist". After that session she felt the need to call me at home to tell me she is resentfull over the time she spends on me. Then in my online journal she wrote that she feels trapped.
I feel terrible having brought any other human being into my world of suffering. I thought I was turning to the proper place for help but I know - I don't know what I know but it's difficult for those around me. Even trained professionals. So think what it's like for me, or my family. I haven't had a relationship for ten years, I smash things less often that way.
I tend to ramble so I'd better stop now. Lamictal and Seroquel have been helpfull.
poster:mikeq
thread:913907
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20080507/msgs/913907.html