Posted by NikkiT2 on November 13, 2006, at 5:33:09
how do you cope with intense pain?
I'm not coping.. I am failing to pull myself together and cope.. and, I'm falling back on old coping mechanisms that are not healthy for my mind..
I'm fed up of trying to reach out to my best friend RT (real-time.. ie, not online - though welive a couple of hundred miles apart now, so its mainly conducted online these days), saying "hun, I don't know how I can get through today" and her replying with one line of vague support and then half a page about her new damned boyfriend.. I'm happy for her, he's a good man.. but.. last friday I truly felt that suicide was my only option.. I was trying to tell her this, but all she seemed to hear was "oh, tell me more inane details about how many hours you have spent on the phone to said man again". I ended up having to grab my bag and walk out of the house as I was scared to be alone..
I'm too scared to tell doctors I am feeling this desperate about it.. My lovely diagnoses of BPD means I will simply be written off as attention seeking, or drug seeking or something.. When I broke down in tears about it, one doctor suggested referring me back to a pdoc. No, I need pain relief, not a 6 month wait to see a psychiatrist..
One of the pain killers has caused rally really terrible gastro problems.. I explain that I need a change of medication, that I am desperate for it.. so she refers me to a gastroenterology consultant..
NO.. I need a pain specialist who can see me before next March.
The pain is too high for me to be able to meditate it easier.. to sleep it easier.. to focus on anything else.. My work is suffering badly.
someone just stop the pain for a little while for me..
please?
poster:NikkiT2
thread:703047
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/health/20061106/msgs/703047.html